Over The Edge Page 10

Kornered
on
Kampus

Everyone seems to be interested in
pick-up lines. You know, what you say
to initialize a conversation. Some of
them are funny, Some are cute, and
others are just sick and wrong. But,
when you come right down to it, | find
that brush off lines are even more fun
than pick up lines. They’re more use-
ful, too, just because I’m way too
chicken to ever use a pick up line.

Brushes off lines seem to take more
thought to come up with, as well. And
there are some really good ones out
there. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. If | throw a stick, will you leave?

2. I’m not your type. I’m not inflat-
able.

3. I’m just trying to imagine you with
a personality.

4. But you're way out of my league.
5. How many times do | have to flush

I’m constipated. Leave me alone. Or,
I’m asexual. I’m self-loving.
Dennis, 4th year International Studies

| gotta go do my hair,
Erin, 2nd year Biology

before you go away?
6. | have a drink.

| don’t know every good line on the
planet, however. So, | thought that
this week, | would research the lines
that other people like to use. Then |
could put then in this column, and
share my newfound knowledge with
the world. Plus, I’d have a few more
lines to use should the occasion
arise.

So this weeks question was “What is
your favorite brush-off line?” | got
some creative answers.
Unfortunately, some of them were
directed at me by people who didn’t
want to talk to me...

Moaorghhhhah. (said through a
mouthful of sandwich)
Oak, 2nd year Women’s Studies

Uuuhh...!’m just really, really busy,
and caught up. I’ve got so much todo.
Have you seen the signs for like the
events and stuff | got to do?

-Michelle, 2nd year Commerce

Go away. : :

Lissy, 2nd year Geography

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You know that midterm that you slept
through? Yeah, you remember, well
you know what you failed it. Get your
butt in gear and get moving, because
you know what? Academic probation
isn’t all its cracked up to be, and
that’s not saying a lot.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Your sign is still in the area of per-
sonal relationships, and you have
managed to convert your book loving
girlfriend over to the dark side. She
hasn't cracked a book since the sec-
ond date. What did | say to begin
with? “Who needs to read anyway?”
Gemini (May 21-June 20)

The cutie on the bus has started
waiting at your stop again. | suggest
that you play it cool for now and try
not to scare him again. You never
know though if all the planets line up
in the fifth quadrant, and it is your
special day and hell freezes over all
at the same time you might just have
a chance to ask him out again.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Your brilliant roommate decided to
try to kill the pile in basement while
you were out one day, and now you
can’t find him and the basement has
acquired a strange new smell. | sug-
gest you try getting rid of it now,
because it might be more docile after
it has recently fed, but then again

Your ambition has waned again, but
at least you got a few things done last
week when it picked up. You had put
off doing everything for way too long.
it had been so long since you had last
visited a class your profs were begin-
ning to think that you were dead.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)

Your date with Mike last Saturday
seemed to go pretty well. You had a
good time and saw a movie, but |
think he might try to get serious faster
than you are ready for. Don’t worry
though he hasn’t picked out the ring
(quite yet that is).

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)

Yeah!!! You found your planner. I’m
proud of you. But forgetting your
midterm because it wasn’t written in

Nov 1, 1999

planner is no excuse. | hope you
realize this in the future.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
There is hope in your future for
passing your finals!! ! see a cold in
your future, so that means that you
should be able to stand the fumes
from your textbook, and get reading.
The only problem though is that
because you are sick you might just
end up spending you days on the
couch watching bad soap operas and
game shows, but | think that you just
might pull through.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)

You made up with that peppy person
in your class, and surprisingly
enough she’s actually a nice person.
You might even become friend in
time. That is if you can resist kicking
her again. This may prove difficult
though, because it seems that as
everyone else's motivation wanes,
hers just keeps going and going and
going.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Your prof has forgiven you for the
comments you made to him last
week, but he is insisting that you
have a mental evaluation. | advise
that you avoid this as long as possi-
ble. Doctors don’t tend to think that
having roommates in your head is a
good idea.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)

| don’t blame you for not helping out
with the paper. | understand that you
have many better ways to waste you
time, but you know that helping peo-
ple who are terribly understaffed and
going only slightly crazy is wonderful-
ly rewarding (even if you go insane
like us).

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)

You have accomplished the impossi-
ble! You have the high score in Tetris.
On a less important note, your com-
puter has decided that it will cooper-
ate for the rest of the semester. It just
has a few simple demands. No more
eating at the keyboard and getting
crumbs in it, no more Tetris and
maybe if you can manage it a nice
other computer for it to be friends
with.

Given Infinite time, a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters could produce the
complete works of William Shakespere.

The average issue of Over the Edge: Five Monkeys One Day We need volunteers