6 features October 20, 2010 + Over the Edge The Jersey Shore Dictionay Ever wonder what all those crazy sayings like GTL mean? ECATERINA CIUGURNEAU / FEATURES EDITOR Season 2 is coming to an end, but let’s not say we didn’t learn anything! | can’t explain it, | don’t understand it, but what started out as a guilty pleasure is now the ultimate phenomenon. If you refuse to conform and watch the show, at least get familiar with the terms that made it from the TV screen into our hearts...and daily conversation. GTL —- gym, tan, laundry. The reasoning behind it goes something like this: “If you don’t go to the gym, you don’t look good. If you don’t tan, you’re pale, and if you don’t do laundry you ain’t got no clothes.” Grenade — a bigger, unattractive female. Guidette — also Italian and orange, but with much more cleavage and fake nails. A typical quote goes a little like, “My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life.” ONLINE SOURCE Snoookie is the very definition of what the Guidetter lifestyle means Hippo — an adjective used to describe an undesirable, bigger female (seriously, the Jersey Shore has more words for unattractive women than the Innuit do for snow); plural: zoo animals. Must usually be extracted from a group, which usually takes a great deal of strategy, i.e. “In this type of situation you need to separate the two sets of girls and then you have to separate the hippopotamus from her good lookin’ friend.” Juice head — a male who does steroids or appears as if he does steroids. (also see ‘gorilla’) Robbery — diverting the love interest/conquest of a competing ‘guide’.|.e.: “I pulled the robbery move on him...so she ditched the zero and went with the hero, | guess.” Fist Pump - a dance move which consists of throwing one’s fist in their air and pumping it vigorously at regular intervals. Beat up the Beat — 1) make a circle with friends, 2) pound the floor with your first, 3) slowly rise up into a fully standing position, 4) FIST PUMP - or as the pro fist pumper himself describes it:“First, we start off banging the ground. We're beating it as the beat builds because that beat’s hitting us so we’re fighting back. It’s like we beat up that beat.” Staten Island Ferry/Staten Island Dump — cast mate, Angelina. I.e.: “Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry - everybody gets a ride, and it’s free.” MVP — Mike, Vinny, and Pauly. Origin: the most valuable players in Miami. Smush/Smash — to engage in sexual intercourse. T-shirt Time — the drill to change from the shirt before the shirt (usually a wife beater) into the outfit set out for the club. Creeping — aggressively pursuing females while both parties are under the influence of alcohol. The Situation — refers to the man and his abdominal muscles. Personal statement is: “You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.” ONLINE SOURCE We get it already, you have abs, Gorilla - a very muscular male. The term can be combined or used interchangeably with the term ‘juicehead'l.e.: “I see a bunch of gorilla juiceheads. Tall, completely jacked, steroids, like multiple growth hormones. That's, like, the type that I’m attracted to.” Stage five clinger — someone who expresses avid interest in you beyond acceptable measures way too early in the relationship. Involves stalking behaviour, l.e. “I just met this girl and she already stalks my whole life” is something you could say about a stage five clinger GFF — grenade free foundation - a cause ‘MVP’ is actively pursuing in Miami. Guido — a male, usually of Italian descent and of orange complexion. Typical attire: snug fitting t-shirts, hair gel, the scent of axe, as well as a cocky attitude. Natural habitats consist of the gym, tanning salons, laundromats, and night clubs. Live according to strict tribal rituals. A typical quote includes, “I was born and raised a guido. It’s just a lifestyle, it’s being Italian, it’s representing, family, friends, tanning, gel... everything.” Landmine — a thin, but unattractive female.|.e.: “Ronnie is at the club, hooking up with grenades - that is, bigger, ugly chicks - and also landmines, - thin, ugly chicks - and loving life.” DTF —a state, down to f@&”*. DTS — down to snuggle, the PG version of the above term. An OG — an original ‘guido’ - aka Vinny’s uncle, Nino: Fresh to Death — a ‘guido’s’ obligation in life, can usually be achieved by a very precise tan/exercise/hair regimen. Staten Island Ferry/Staten Island Dump — cast mate, Angelina. l.e.: “Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry - everybody gets a ride, and it’s free.” Blow out — male hairstyle achieved through tubs of hair gel and a hair dryer, equivalent to botox for hair, as their hair appears frozen and sculpted. Typically looks like this: ONLINE SOURCE Lots of people have probably told you this, Pauly-D, but this hair- style looks ridiculously awful. I mean, I can see the flakes of gel in your hair. It is awful, just awful. People actually sleep with you?