EDITORIAL.

-by Paul Berard and Jes Burkitt

What’s up with this, I ask?

It would appear that the first
actual attempt for a government
to censor the Internet has begun.
The United States Senate passed
the law against the use of certain
words on the Internet.

It also restricts the abortion
issue so that it can’t be discussed
openly on-line, as well as not
allowing speech about bodily
functions unless it is conducted
in clinical terms. For me, this
proves to bea little bit disturbing.

Are we soon to be restricted to
a strange sort of speech where
what we say could cost us
$250,000? I knew that money
had been surpassed by
information, as a power source,
but this is a rather extreme
example of just how badly. The
repercussions from this event will
be with us for quite some time.

- Many of the people who control
the servers and lines that
comprise the Internet are not at
all impressed, with the new law.
These are the individuals that are
threatening fire for fire. Many

declarations of independence
from the government have been
issued since the passing of the
Telecom “Reform” Act. Most
are far from being passive.
This Telecommunications
“Reform” Act just seems to be
yet another example of the U.S.
government thinking that
anything that they believe is
something that can be imposed
on the entire world. They don’t
seem to realize the basic concept

“is that the Internet is an
amorphous blob of information

that transcends political
boundaries; thus, it cannot be
controlled by passing one law in
one nation.

One question that comes to
mind: does the U.S. realize that
if they censor the Net in their
country, its users will simply use
the same resources in other
countries? Rather than have
their freedom taken away,
people only have to type a few
words to transfer over to
another server that has the same
abilities and services, without

the brainless restrictions. In
order to make this Telecom
“Reform” Act even work in the
slightest, remotest, most limited
way, the U.S. would have to
make a net that serviced ONLY
the U.S., where people couldn’t
access outside resources from
inside, and people outside would
not be allowed to access the
resources on the inside, creating
a sort of “computer fascism.”

Unfortunately for the U.S., this
would be an incredibly difficult
task involving a lot of time and
money (gee, this might lower
their resources to make more
nukes, oh darn). As it is, an
American can just telnet to a
server in Canada, Europe, or
maybe Russia, and say “well shit,
this abortion thing is just bad; it
makes me want to hurl” to their
heart’s content. The American
dream in action; don’t you just
love it?

WAAAATIIMIITTTTITT A
MINUTE.......

by Lopernicus

When did toga parties be-
come taboo? I’ve been at this uni-
versity almost two years now and
have yet to receive an invite to
what was once a traditional rite of
passage. (Passage to what: the
depths of lunacy, neurotic behav-
ioral traits, the toilet bowl?) Jury’s
still out on this one. Still, what
would John Belushi say if he was
alive today? One would hope he’d
“Just Say No” to the nasty Coke
habit and the saturated fat indul-
gences, but really, the man looked
hot in a toga, did he not? Those
hairy shoulders, knobby ankles, I
assume, stinky underarms...the
man could Louie, Louie in my bed
any day! So was it all in vain,
John? As I sit in the cafeteria (a
sterile place where not one burger
that I am aware of has ever been
airborne) J can’t help but hear the
strains of the Faber College school
anthem echoing through my
memory banks. Don’t know much
about history, don’t know much
about biology...but I know a thing
or two about toga parties. C’mon
guys,...let’s face it...everybody’s
NAKED under those things. Isn’t

that reason enough to restart the
tradition. I’m even willing to bet
that for some of you guys out
there, this may be the only real
shot you’ ve got at actually seeing
a woman’s breast (personal expe-
rience on this one: How was I to
know it was sticking out? Why
didn’t somebody tell me? My sad
tale...didn’t find out until the pic-
tures got back the next day.) I can
only hope that the women out
there will have the same opportu-
nity for similar visual demonstra-
tions.

So nakedness doesn’t ap-
peal? Fine...how about the fact
that anyone in any sort of admin-
istrative capacity are terrified of
these babies? Toga party?
They’re having a _ toga
party!!!!222?? Let them sweat a bit
about it. Yep, one finger on that
old 911 extension the entire night.
So sure, sounds juvenile right?
Yes it is...in a way...but more to
the point...it is a display of power.
(Scoff if you like: it is). Want to
cut back on student loans?

Where’s my toga? Want to put

less money into education?

Where’s my damn toga???! Want
to show us how much you really
think our lives are worth to you
political smug-asses? Somebody,

And remember, as Belushi said,
“Was it over when the Germans
bombed Pearl Harbor?”
(Germans?...yes, the man was con-
fused, but not totally off-base.) A
good party always has the power
to shake things up a bit. (And a
bad party can really screw a lot of
people who are just trying to get
by.) And when the boys were left
to grasp at straws, the toga party
was the only logical answer.

So, leave them wondering
what you’ re going to do next. Pick
atoga. Any

Contoga. Just make sure it
fits well enough so that you’ re not
totally exposed. Pin it strategically
sO no one can rip it off you. And
while you wear it...think about
what that for which you fight.

Belushi and his fellow Romans:

they had a good time making
people crazy. And so will you.

overtheedge 21 Feb, 1996

page

Poison Pen

by Ian Lorenz

A couple of days ago, in class, my Professor wrote on the board:
Bitch/Goddess. Well...this perked up my interest a bit. She went on to
say Eve was the biblical bitch while Mary was the Goddess. I couldn’t
help but think about the class discussion for the rest of the day. What
kept slipping in and out of my mind, like a greased banana, was: who
was the bitch and who was the Goddess? An age old question that has
plagued humankind for centuries. Luckily, I think I have deduced the
answer.

The Goddess is a beauty. Her smile can leave you on an emo-
tional high. She will kiss you gently on the cheek, for no other reason
than to cheer you up on that particularly horrible day. An unsolicited
kiss to remind you that you are wanted and lovable. The Goddess smells
of sweet things. Her hair is soft and her skin smooth. She is nurturing
and empathetic to those around her. She holds your hand while you
drive and can stare into your eyes for hours. A slight caress from her
brings a smile to your face and a tingling sensation to your groin.

The bitch is also a beauty. She radiates sex and lust. Her night-
club walk makes grown men grow underage. The only kisses she gives
are to bend you to her will and trample your personal power. Love and
sex are her weapons and she never takes prisoners. She smells sweet
but it is the bitter sweet of poison. She is a cancer that grows on you,
until she finally consumes you. Her hair is soft and her lips sweet. But
her lips can never taste as sweet as the sweet things the Goddess whis-
pers in your ear. The bitch will not nurture and does not care. She
bases her life on her pleasure and stamps down others to achieve her
means. Never has the bitch given a meaningful caress or unsolicited
kiss. These are beyond her capability. And when you stare into her
eyes, there is nothing there but egotism and self-indulgence.

The Goddess is an innocent princess. She brings happiness and
peace to those around her with her kindness. Words of love and en-
couragement spoken by her are the blooming flowers on a rainy day.
She is friendly and caring, always willing to help those in need. She is
the bearer of unconditional things and untainted truth. The Goddess is
always the first to offer sweet words and an open hand after a fight.
And she is your best friend and confidant. She listens to your stories
and gently strokes your hair and face. Touches communicate so much
more than words. And when she listens to you, your eyes lock, your

-hands clasp, and you know that she is listening only to you, because she

loves you.

The bitch is the wicked Queen. She is a liar and an instigator.
Her words are sharp and they cut. The bitch is always complaining and
forcing those around her into her own violent existence. Everything
she gives has a price and often your blood, sweat, and tears are not
enough. When the bitch sees that you are down, when she makes you
cry, she kicks you again. She keeps kicking you until it is impossible to
getup. And when you fight, she will never take the extended hand or
accept the sincere apology. She is a back-stabber and gossip. She can
be sexy and charming but only so that you may draw close.- Once you
have drawn close it will be her delight to push you away. Your fears
and dreams mean nothing to the bitch. She communicates only when
she has a want, and other times remains remote and distant. The bitch
loves herself best. She is selfish and uncaring. _

When you are with the Goddess you make love. A love that is
spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and sexual. The Goddess is faith-
ful. When you hold her in your arms, she says that there is no one else;
it is the truth. She brings you breakfast in bed and asks with concer if
you are happy. She loves you and supports you. And when your sweaty
bodies intertwine in the bedroom, she pleases you in every way that
you can imagine, asking so little for herself. She is sexy and perverted,
yet her greatest pleasure comes from hearing you moan her name.

When you are with the bitch, you fuck. A fuck that is dead and
lifeless. The bitch is aslut. When you hold her in your arms, she says

that there is no one else; it is a lie. She receives her power by having
th Continued on page 12