January 13 2003

Over The Edge Page 16

Poet's Corner

Prop off your poetry anges’ Ul Dur it in,

Canadian Pie
{An adaptation of the song, American Pie)

A long, long time ago | can still remember
How that Stockwell used to make me smile
And | knew that if | had my chance

| could make those people vote

And maybe they wouldn't complain for a while
Did you see the Sunday Night Sex Show?
And do you have faith in Sue above?

if the Pleasure Chest telis youso _

Now do you believe in rock and roll?

And can Celine save your mortal soul?

And can you teach me how to dance, real good eh?
Well | know that youire in love with him
Cause | Saw you Curlinginthe rink =|

You both pulled off your toques

And | dig those funky shoes

| was a lonely teenager with a puck

With a white trillium and a Honda Civic

But | knew | was out of luck

The day | lost the 6-49

| started singing

Bye, bye Miss Canadian Pie

Drove my Civic to Tim Horton's

But Tim Horton's was closed

And good oid boys drinking Molson and Labaits
Singing this will be the day | apologize

This will be the day | apologize!

| met a girl who sang the blues

And asked her for some happy news —

She just smiled and told me ‘eh?!

Well | went down te the sacred store —

Where | ate some Tim Bits days before _

But the man there said the Tim Bits were sold out

Well now in their beds the children sleep, the lovers drink,

And the poets drink more |

But nota word was spoken ts

The Peace Tower is a broken

And the three men | admire the most

The father, son, and Pierre Trudeau
They caught the last VIA forthe coast =
The ay the beaver died» _

We started singing | —
Bye, bye Miss Canadian Pie |
Drove my Civic to Tim Horton's
But Tim Horton’s was closed

And good old boys drinking Molson and Labatts

| Singing this will be the day | apologize
_ This will be the day i apoligize! -

The Perfect Man

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He’ll be the perfect father
And a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do everything in his power
To convey his love to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He’s a best friend to your mother
And will kiss away your pain.
He will never make you cry
Or hurt you in any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.

ass full of pork fat
jiggles like a jello mold
gums are flapping too

“How can
they call it
winter if
there’s no
Snow?”